Sunday, May 29, 2011

The Last Hooorah!

The day has finally come. I have tackled the monster that is Special K cereal.

 I had no idea it would take me this long. There have been tears of joy and tears of sadness. Surprisingly 2 of the last 3 flavors were competing hardcore for that coveted last place position. To put it lightly I almost wrote a letter to kelloggs informing them that they had some real Losers in their line up and they should really consider dropping the extra weight. So you know what I'm talking about here are the numbers.

Special K Chocolatey Delight

Taste: 2,
This was anything but a "delight." I was puzzled at why they would even think they could use that word to describe this cereal. Then I remembered a very important fact I had stowed away for later use. Chocolate is an aphrodisiac for women... This MUST be where they got off thinking they could use the word delight.  This is a cereal for women made for men's sake. They talk women into buying it and eating it in hopes that they get a little somethin somethin in the morning before work, or after that late night snack. Makes perfect sense to me now.

Crave Factor: 1, I felt bad giving a lower score than 1. Just so you realize what that entails.. I did offer the rest of the box to my roommate's girlfriend in the middle of my first bowl.

Crunch Resistance: 2, Just the same as the original.

Overall Satisfaction: 1.4, This was a horrible cereal. Not meant to be eaten by any self respecting man. Women, I heard through the grapevine that it tastes better to women. If so more power to you, but word to the wise women, eat it sparingly, I heard it leads to as many illegitimate children as alcohol and expired birth control pills COMBINED.

Special K Granola

Taste: 5, This was a pretty good little mix of granola. Nothing weird or out of the ordinary in it. I'm not a huge granola fan but it did taste pretty good so I had to give it credit.

Crave Factor: 4.6, Pretty sure I had another bowl. Not bad Special K!

Crunch Resistance: 4, Just because it wasn't flakes it obviously was a little more crunchy. There was still some softened food items (not sure what they were, hence the general reference).

Overall Satisfaction: 5 

Special K Protein Plus

Taste: 0.4, This cereal belongs in a league with grape nuts. I have never come across a cereal so bland... at least grape nuts are crunchy! Definitely without a doubt the worst cereal I have eaten.

Crave Factor: 0, Yes I did it. Here is the First goose egg of the challenge, and hopefully the only one, but I've got a lot of cereals to go so it's possible. This is one of the only times ever I didn't finish the bowl because I couldn't stand another bite.

Crunch Resistance: 0.3, Literally it was soggy when I put the milk on it.

Overall Satisfaction: 0.4, I would have to be a pretty hard up, nothing enters my body but protein, kinda guy to eat this. Even if I was on an all protein diet, there are SO many more things, including tuna, I could think of eating for breakfast before I would eat this. Cut your losses Kelloggs. The people have spoken!

Here is the final rankings of the Special K family members. Congrats to the grandaddy of the family the overall champion multigrain oats and honey. I'm sure they will make a solid appearance in the championships later this year.

SK Oats and Honey: 9.3
SK Vanilla Almond: 7.7
SK Original: 6.9
SK Red Berry: 6.5
SK Cinnamon Pecan: 5
SK Granola: 5
SK Blueberry: 3.5
SK Fruit and Yogurt: 2.4
SK Chocolatey Delight: 1.4
SK Protein Plus: 0.4

As for the ugly stepchild of the family, protein plus, your parents never should have met.


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