Saturday, October 15, 2011

The Quaker Let Down

Cereal and I go together like mom jeans and the 90's... We're pretty tight. :)

 It's been a good few months away from the cereal challenge. I needed some time to let my true love of cereal let loose. I realized from doing this challenge that there really are a lot of bad cereals out there (this is where you send me heaps of thank-you mail for taking one for the team... you're welcome). I needed some "me" time to eat my favorites before I branched out again and tried some more potential bombs of a cereal. After a few month hiatus I've decided it's again time to put a family of cereal on the chopping block. 

What are "Quakers"? Quakers are members of the Religious Society of Friends, a faith that emerged as a new Christian denomination in England during a period of religious turmoil in the mid-1600's and is practiced today in a variety of forms around the world. To members of this religion, the words "Quaker"and "Friend" mean the same thing.

Although Chuckie from Rugrats was terrified of "the man on the oatmeal box", I never had that fear as a child. In fact, I quite enjoyed oatmeal and found no particular reason to fear the nice looking man with white hair and a funny hat. Perhaps this is the reason I was pretty excited to try Quaker Oatmeal Squares. I have to say though... It was quite the letdown.

Quaker Oatmeal Squares: Cinnamon

Taste: 2. I was incredibly disappointed with the bland lack of flavor this cereal had. I might as well have cut up little squares of cardboard sprinkled on cinnamon and put them in milk... I know I'm fluent in sarcasm but this is one of those rare occasions that I'm being dead serious. No exaggeration

Crave Factor: 0.6 The fact that after I had my 1 bowl to try it out the box sat on top of the fridge for a month without being touched proves just how much I "craved" this cereal. 

Crunch Resistance: 3 To be honest, I didn't even get to the end of the bowl so I'm not exactly sure what the last bite is like. It was at a 3 when I quit eating...

Overall Satisfaction: 1 Big disappointment. 

I'm going to do something that I've never done before in this challenge. I'm going to give the exact same score to the other 2 cereals in this family. I will be quite honest when I say the difference in flavor between the 3 was as small as the smallest thing that is out there.... like smaller than a newborn baby or like a shoe or like an atom. I know those are pretty small but I've never seen one so it's hard to tell exactly how small that is. I think you can just think of the smallest thing that you possibly can and that should be good. That's how small the difference is between flavors. So in the biggest slap in the face of this challenge I give the next 2 flavors the exact same rating as above.

Quaker Oatmeal Squares: Golden Maple

Quaker Oatmeal Squares: Brown Sugar

Both are the same as above.
I almost cried because I was so disappointed with the results of these cereals. (Really, tears were like 87% formed and just about ready to drop out of my tear ducts.) I've been eying them for quite awhile with high hopes that I would find some new favorites. Needless to say I'll be sticking with regular oatmeal, no more of this oatmeal cereal nonsense... No hard feelings man on the oatmeal box.

Rock on.


  1. I know some people who love this cereal. When it goes on sale, they buy cases of it. I have never tried it, but I am a big fan of Quaker Cinnamon Life cereal so I thought that Oatmeal Squares couldn't be too bad.

    Thanks for your review. I will now save my money on buying the cereal unless it's as a gift for my friends.

  2. @Dannon Loveland I have a friend who loves it too. I love Life but this is not even close.