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The Quaker Let Down

Cereal and I go together like mom jeans and the 90's... We're pretty tight. :)

 It's been a good few months away from the cereal challenge. I needed some time to let my true love of cereal let loose. I realized from doing this challenge that there really are a lot of bad cereals out there (this is where you send me heaps of thank-you mail for taking one for the team... you're welcome). I needed some "me" time to eat my favorites before I branched out again and tried some more potential bombs of a cereal. After a few month hiatus I've decided it's again time to put a family of cereal on the chopping block. 

What are "Quakers"? Quakers are members of the Religious Society of Friends, a faith that emerged as a new Christian denomination in England during a period of religious turmoil in the mid-1600's and is practiced today in a variety of forms around the world. To members of this religion, the words "Quaker"and "Friend" mean the same thing.

Although Chuckie from Rugrats was terrified of "the man on the oatmeal box", I never had that fear as a child. In fact, I quite enjoyed oatmeal and found no particular reason to fear the nice looking man with white hair and a funny hat. Perhaps this is the reason I was pretty excited to try Quaker Oatmeal Squares. I have to say though... It was quite the letdown.

Quaker Oatmeal Squares: Cinnamon

Taste: 2. I was incredibly disappointed with the bland lack of flavor this cereal had. I might as well have cut up little squares of cardboard sprinkled on cinnamon and put them in milk... I know I'm fluent in sarcasm but this is one of those rare occasions that I'm being dead serious. No exaggeration

Crave Factor: 0.6 The fact that after I had my 1 bowl to try it out the box sat on top of the fridge for a month without being touched proves just how much I "craved" this cereal. 

Crunch Resistance: 3 To be honest, I didn't even get to the end of the bowl so I'm not exactly sure what the last bite is like. It was at a 3 when I quit eating...

Overall Satisfaction: 1 Big disappointment. 

I'm going to do something that I've never done before in this challenge. I'm going to give the exact same score to the other 2 cereals in this family. I will be quite honest when I say the difference in flavor between the 3 was as small as the smallest thing that is out there.... like smaller than a newborn baby or like a shoe or like an atom. I know those are pretty small but I've never seen one so it's hard to tell exactly how small that is. I think you can just think of the smallest thing that you possibly can and that should be good. That's how small the difference is between flavors. So in the biggest slap in the face of this challenge I give the next 2 flavors the exact same rating as above.

Quaker Oatmeal Squares: Golden Maple

Quaker Oatmeal Squares: Brown Sugar

Both are the same as above.
I almost cried because I was so disappointed with the results of these cereals. (Really, tears were like 87% formed and just about ready to drop out of my tear ducts.) I've been eying them for quite awhile with high hopes that I would find some new favorites. Needless to say I'll be sticking with regular oatmeal, no more of this oatmeal cereal nonsense... No hard feelings man on the oatmeal box.


Rock on.

Guest Post: Thomas Kano

I got a call from my bro in North Carolina out doin that summer sales thing. He came across a cereal I have never heard of and sent me his review of it. Here is this week's guest post by Thomas Kano. Hope you enjoy it!

As I entered the realm of the cereal aisle at the local Wal Mart in Charlotte, North Carolina I spied a cereal I had never seen before...... Brownie Crunch. I couldn't resist and had to buy it, after all brownies are my favorite. Although I had just eaten dinner I had to try a bowl only to find out they were just square Coco Puffs. Nothing special about the cereal after all. It didn't even have a hint of brownie flavor. It was heart breaking to say the least. These ratings show my disappointment in them.

Flavor- 1.6. Not a huge fan of the Coco Puffs fake chocolate flavor hence not a huge fan. Besides it was a huge disappointment that they didn't taste anything like a brownie.

Crunch Resistance- 7.2. It stayed surprisingly crunchy until I took the last bite.

Crave Factor- 1.8. I will eat the rest of the box because I have it and I don't want to throw it away, but honestly I will never buy them again.

Overall Satisfaction- 3. They only really had crunchiness going for them in the first place.

Take my evaluation for what it is worth but overall I wouldn't recommend this cereal to anyone unless you like Coco Puffs.


Another new and exciting sugar cereal that I had never seen at the store and it was a must have. After consulting with my "cereal advisor" I was informed that I should try them. I couldn't wait until the morning to try them and ate a bowl immediately after the not-so-impressive Brownie Crunch. Here are the findings of this cereal that is named after the most delicious Mexican dessert.

Flavor: 4.7. This cereal had me having an orgasm in my mouth after the first two bites, but then disappointed me as the cinnamon is so lightly coated on there it just comes right off leaving you eating packing peanuts in milk.

Crunch resistance: 7.4. Be pretty dang bulky in stature milk was not going to win the fight with these bad boys.


Crave Factor: 3.5.  I would have wanted a million bowls until I got to the 2nd half of the bowl and it tasted like packing peanuts.

Overall Satisfaction: 4.9. It was a good cereal just lacked the lasting flavor throughout the bowl. It is a must have if you pour only two to three spoonfuls at a time.

Keep on Keepin' on

First of all, BIG thanks to everyone who shared and watched Cereal: The Musical. It was pretty sweet to get all the positive feedback. No where near viral but NBD. I'm going to keep on keepin' on, doin my cereal blogging thing, and hopefully get a viral video in the near future.

Recently I have taken it upon myself to dominate the Chex family. It was nothing compared to the size of the Special K family, but nonetheless has some good contenders for the crown. I'm just going to cut to the chase on this one and dive right in to the rankings.

Rice Chex

Taste: 3.4, Maybe it's that I got sick of the whole rice thing, or the fact that I haven't had a GOOD cereal in awhile but I just wasn't feelin it with the Rice Chex. Honestly wasn't bad, but neither are Lebron James' basketball skills and he still doesn't have a ring. No dis on the king, just putting it into perspective. There are plenty of good things out there, this challenge is only looking for the best. Maybe for you LDS peeps I could refer to the Good, Better, Best talk by Dallin H. Oaks. I seek only for the best cereals. I waste time not with the good, or the better.

Crave Factor: 3, Wasn't licking every last bit of cereal dust out of the bag. Not even close

Crunch Resistance: 2, Chex just had it coming from the beginning. It's not a very well built cereal for crunch resistance. It's good for party treats and healthy church snacks that little kids only like if their parents are the ones that believe sugar cereal is even. I have a little beef with this belief. Until you show me solid evidence and studies done by actual doctors on whether or not sugar cereal is bad for kids I'm not buying into it. I mean, I grew up fine. It is a proven fact however that sugar DOES NOT make kids hyper. So if that is part of your argument for strict non-sugar cereal diets, you need a new game plan. I've already stuffed your slam dunk attempt. Also a proven fact; Eating breakfast vs. not eating breakfast is like shooting a red brick with a yellow arrow... it just makes sense. When I was a kid if I woke up and all we had was Rice Crispies and Rice Chex, you know I would have starved til lunch, not paid attention in class because I was hungry, and then proceeded to eat more than is healthy for a young child to eat all because I didn't eat breakfast. Rewind that situation, enter the blessing of sugar cereal and I would have had 1 maybe 2 bowls of something like Frosted Flakes or Froot Loops, paid attention in class (because remember sugar doesn't make kids hyper) and then eaten a healthy amount for lunch because I got my day started right with some calcium, fiber, and carbs. I'm done with my beef sesh, but it's my blog and I'll say it how it is. Get your kids some fetchin' sugar cereal. It will save their life!

Overall Satisfaction: 3, (see above)

Honey Nut Chex

Taste: 6.5, Finally something good! Thank you Chex for taking a great base of a cereal and adding some much needed flavor to it! Love the Honey Nut Chex. 

Crave Factor: 7, Just the perfect combination of something... I don't know what, but I was definitely thirsty for more.

Crunch Resistance: 3, There was a little sugar coating that helped with the crunch factor, but it was short lived.

Overall Satisfaction: 7, Boom. I'll say it. This is a great quality cereal and you can bet your bottom I'll buy it again.

Corn Chex

Taste: 4.1, This guy was a bit better than the Rice Chex, but still was missing the sugar (see above for any explanation)

Crave Factor: 3.5, Meh...

Crunch Resistance: 3, of course.

Overall Satisfaction: 3.8, Not a lot to say about this guy. Basically just yellow colored Rice Chex with a slightly different aftertaste.

Wheat Chex

Taste: 3, Basically the same taste as Wheaties. Only I didn't think it was near as good as Wheaties. I'd probably rate Wheaties around a 5 (Just FYI)

Crave Factor: 2

Crunch Resistance: 4.3, These were quite a bit crunchier than any of it's Chex family buddies.

Overall Satisfaction: 2, Just wasn't feelin these.

Cinnamon Chex

Taste: 6.6, These were also great. Once again they took the good base that they have going for themselves and souped it up with some high quality flavor. Thank the good lord for cinnamon sugar. Such a great additive to most breakfast foods (toast, donuts, bagels, cereal, oatmeal...)

Crave Factor: 6.9, Yeah, I wanted more :)

Crunch Resistance: 3.2, Got killed in this category, but who cares. I ate it so fast it didn't really matter.

Overall Satisfaction: 6.7, Quality.

Now there has been some speculation about my rating scale. I won't get on my soap box like I did with sugar cereal but this is my challenge, and I will rate things how I want. I don't care if the 'overall satisfaction' number doesn't add up to the average of the other 3 scores. It's my overall thoughts, feelings and emotions on the cereal. There are many other factors in determining a good cereal besides the 4 I chose. The first 3 are to be taken literally, and the 4th is just, all things set aside, how I felt about the cereal. Boom!

Peace and Blessings.

Cereal The Musical

As I was sitting there the other day, wondering to myself two questions. How in the world am I going to create a Viral Video?, and secondly what am I going to do with all these boxes of Special K that I can't even bear to think about eating without dry heaving?

Somehow when these two thoughts came together all I could think of was throwing the boxes on the ground and running them over with a car. I don't know that it will go viral but it was great practice in turning an idea into a product. Feel free to leave me any feedback or suggestions!

Word to yo motha'

The Last Hooorah!

The day has finally come. I have tackled the monster that is Special K cereal.

 I had no idea it would take me this long. There have been tears of joy and tears of sadness. Surprisingly 2 of the last 3 flavors were competing hardcore for that coveted last place position. To put it lightly I almost wrote a letter to kelloggs informing them that they had some real Losers in their line up and they should really consider dropping the extra weight. So you know what I'm talking about here are the numbers.

Special K Chocolatey Delight


Taste: 2, This was anything but a "delight." I was puzzled at why they would even think they could use that word to describe this cereal. Then I remembered a very important fact I had stowed away for later use. Chocolate is an aphrodisiac for women... This MUST be where they got off thinking they could use the word delight.  This is a cereal for women made for men's sake. They talk women into buying it and eating it in hopes that they get a little somethin somethin in the morning before work, or after that late night snack. Makes perfect sense to me now.

Crave Factor: 1, I felt bad giving a lower score than 1. Just so you realize what that entails.. I did offer the rest of the box to my roommate's girlfriend in the middle of my first bowl.

Crunch Resistance: 2, Just the same as the original.

Overall Satisfaction: 1.4, This was a horrible cereal. Not meant to be eaten by any self respecting man. Women, I heard through the grapevine that it tastes better to women. If so more power to you, but word to the wise women, eat it sparingly, I heard it leads to as many illegitimate children as alcohol and expired birth control pills COMBINED.

Special K Granola


Taste: 5, This was a pretty good little mix of granola. Nothing weird or out of the ordinary in it. I'm not a huge granola fan but it did taste pretty good so I had to give it credit.

Crave Factor: 4.6, Pretty sure I had another bowl. Not bad Special K!

Crunch Resistance: 4, Just because it wasn't flakes it obviously was a little more crunchy. There was still some softened food items (not sure what they were, hence the general reference).

Overall Satisfaction: 5 

Special K Protein Plus

Taste: 0.4, This cereal belongs in a league with grape nuts. I have never come across a cereal so bland... at least grape nuts are crunchy! Definitely without a doubt the worst cereal I have eaten.

Crave Factor: 0, Yes I did it. Here is the First goose egg of the challenge, and hopefully the only one, but I've got a lot of cereals to go so it's possible. This is one of the only times ever I didn't finish the bowl because I couldn't stand another bite.

Crunch Resistance: 0.3, Literally it was soggy when I put the milk on it.

Overall Satisfaction: 0.4, I would have to be a pretty hard up, nothing enters my body but protein, kinda guy to eat this. Even if I was on an all protein diet, there are SO many more things, including tuna, I could think of eating for breakfast before I would eat this. Cut your losses Kelloggs. The people have spoken!

Here is the final rankings of the Special K family members. Congrats to the grandaddy of the family the overall champion multigrain oats and honey. I'm sure they will make a solid appearance in the championships later this year.

SK Oats and Honey: 9.3

SK Vanilla Almond: 7.7

SK Original: 6.9

SK Red Berry: 6.5

SK Cinnamon Pecan: 5

SK Granola: 5

SK Blueberry: 3.5

SK Fruit and Yogurt: 2.4

SK Chocolatey Delight: 1.4

SK Protein Plus: 0.4

As for the ugly stepchild of the family, protein plus, your parents never should have met.

Touche'

Another 2 Bite the Dust

I am proud to say I am 2 boxes closer to dominating the mountain that is Special K cereal. With 7 boxes down now and to the best of my shopping knowledge 6 boxes to go, I've reached the halfway point by taking care of the most recent 2 flavors. I've been getting a lot of good feedback from my posts and even got a phone call the other day from my man Thomas Kano. He had a dilemma... Stuck in South Carolina doing summer sales all by his lonesome. He found himself in the cereal aisle and (like mentioned in an earlier blog post) was overcome by the vast expanse of cereal selections. In this overwhelming moment he remembered my quest and searched through his pockets frantically for his phone hoping that he had enough battery left to make the call because everyone knows iPhone batteries last as long as a road trip with a flat tire, or a can of gasoline at scout camp (enter explosion noise and the smell of singed eyebrows here). Alas the battery had charge and I was able to guide him through the process. I helped him pick the cereal that was right for him based on my personal knowledge of the cereals and his personal preferences. This is just one of many experiences I expect will happen in the near future. I'm glad to be of service to friends in need.

Here are this week's ratings:

Special K Vanilla Almond:

Taste: 7.2, I was very impressed with this cereal. I'll be quite honest it was my first experience with "Vanilla" as one of the flavors in my cereal. It seems like a common flavor but after tasting it I realized I don't know if I have ever had a cereal with vanilla flavoring. It was great, and might I add the after milk was among the best I've ever drank.

Crave Factor: 8, The flavor was so intriguing I couldn't just stop at 1 bowl. It was a new experience for me so I had to make sure I was getting it for all it was worth.

Crunch Resistance: 4, This one scored a little higher than the rest. It may have been because I ate it so fast that it stayed crunchy. Nonetheless according to my experience it was still semi-crunchy at the last bite.

Overall Satisfaction: 7.7, I believe I covered everything in the above categories, but I would like to put in another plug for the milk after I was done, Soooo Good!


Special K Cinnamon Pecan:

Taste: 6, This cereal wasn't bad but the flavor wasn't potent at all. I think the pecans they use just don't have a ton of flavor so I didn't feel like I was getting the best bang for my buck. The cinnamon wasn't that prominent either until the aftertaste kicked in. Kinda like a watered down cinnamon toast crunch.

Crave Factor: 4.8, Wasn't too excited to pour another bowl other than to decide if it really had flavor or not.

Crunch resistance: 4, Not too bad, also was a little more crunchy than the others I have eaten.

Overall Satisfaction: 5, This honestly wasn't a bad cereal, but in a competition where it is judged against every other cereal ever made it has to hang out somewhere in the middle. Didn't shine in any particular way for me but if you like cinnamon and pecans it's definitely something I would recommend trying.

With around 4 flavors left I hope to have them all down and recorded by next week so I can move on to something else and crown the Special K King and the not so special k scum.

Here is the leader board for Special K so far:

SK Oats and Honey: 9.3

SK Vanilla Almond: 7.7

SK Original: 6.9

SK Red Berry: 6.5

SK Cinnamon Pecan: 5

SK Blueberry: 3.5

SK Fruit and Yogurt: 2.4

Keep it Real

"Special" Ks

I've now dominated half of my Special K bundle of fun and I have to say I am quite impressed with the results. There is no clear winner as each new box I open really seems to give the rest a run for their money. After realizing that all these cereals are really good I've come to realize why I started this challenge in the first place.... To find new cereals that I love just as much if not more than the classics. They say Adam and Eve had to partake of the fruit otherwise they would have had no joy because they would have known no sorrow. I feel this relates directly to my cereal challenge. I considered myself a connoisseur of cereal, I'm now finding out that there is a whole world of flavors and combinations out there that I haven't tried. I had no idea the joy I could receive from eating red berry Special K because I felt like I was required to get the classics like captain crunch, froot loops, and lucky charms. Don't get me wrong, those are great cereals, but I now realize there is a vast frontier of amazing cereals that can rival the greats.

Here are the totals so far:

Special K Red Berry:

Taste: 7.3, I was quite impressed with this one. The strawberries are at least 3 times the size of the ones in honey bunches of oats with strawberries. I really liked the strawberries but the bran flakes weren't doin it for me. Don't get me wrong I like healthy but let's be honest if we are going for taste, healthy usually takes a back seat.

Crave Factor: 5, I was diggin it but wasn't too hard to stop at 1 bowl.

Crunch Resistance: 3, all of the Special K guys will score pretty low in this category. Just the way things are

Overall Satisfaction: 6.5, Overall not a bad cereal.

Special K Blueberry:

Taste: 5, I'm being very generous with this, lets just put it at that. The blueberry flavor was very fake and not very appetizing. It did get better towards the end of the bowl though which is why I boosted it from a 3.6 to a 5

Crave Factor: 2 Straight up if the taste doesn't score high, this shouldn't be any different.

Crunch Resistance: 3.4, I don't know what it was about this cereal but it stayed crunchier than some of the others.

Overall Satisfaction: 3.5, Can't say I'd ever buy this again. Kellogs should cut their losses and discontinue this one. They could make more money focusing on their better cereals.

Special K (original):

Taste: 6.6, I found the rice flavor, though plain, to be a good change. I enjoyed it

Crave Factor: 7, I did want another bowl. I think I even had 3

Crunch Resistance: 2, This one murdered it.

Overall Satisfaction: 6.9, Oddly enough I really liked this one. Guess I'm just a fan of rice cereal. Could be because I lived in Korea... Who knows?

Special K Fruit and Yogurt:

Taste: 4, Didn't really dig this flavor. Couldn't tell what fruit it was. I've noticed this a trend with some of their cereals. The fruit tastes too fake.

Crave Factor: 2, I've had it for a week and still only ate the 1 bowl. 

Crunch Resistance: 3.5, Like the blueberry, stayed a little more crunchy than the normal cereal, probably because the added things.

Overall Satisfaction: 2.4, Wouldn't get this one again either. It's going to be a close race between this and the blueberry for last place.

Special K Multigrain Oats and Honey:

Taste: 9, I have been waiting for a high scoring one and here it is. Loved it!

Crave Factor: 9, Could have eaten the whole box but I had to go to work. 

Crunch Resistance: 4, The oats kept it crunchier than the rest of the cereals

Overall Satisfaction: 9.3, I was very satisfied with this cereal. For sure going to be a staple in my future.

I also tried a prime contender (recommended by Kurtis Koch) for the overall champ of all champs Honey Gram Oh's:

Taste: 9.2, Amazing... Not a lot more to describe it

Crave Factor: 9.5, I just about ate the whole box

Crunch Resistance: 10, The first perfect score of the challenge. I was still scraping the roof of my mouth with the last bite. No idea how they do it!

Overall Satisfaction: 9.6, What else can I say?

I dare say I tried 2 of the best cereals I have ever eaten this past week. The cereal challenge is exceeding all my expectations. 5 more flavors of Special K and I'll be able to crown the champ in the Special K category. That oats and honey one is going to be hard to beat but I still have vanilla almond which to me sounds really good.

Here is the running total so far:

Honey Gram Oh's: 9.6

SK Oats and Honey: 9.3

Alphabits: 8

SK Original: 6.9

SK Red Berry: 6.5

Chocolate Chex: 6

SK Blueberry: 3.5

SK Fruit and Yogurt: 2.4

Keep on Chuggin.

To The Haters and Disbelievers

I decided it was time to prove to my haters that I'm for real about this cereal challenge. I decided to step it up a notch.

In all I purchased 9 boxes of cereal tonight. All (yes I did say All) of the flavors that exist of Special K: Red Berry, Vanilla Almond, Blueberry, Oats and Honey, Cinnamon Pecan, Fruit and Yogurt, Low Fat Granola and of course Original. This way I can rate them individually as well as how they stand up to the rest of their family. Expect an 8-part story on every one of these flavors. There will be an ultimate winner from the family. Where there are many cereals in a specific cereal family, I will play the part of the bad dad and you bet your bottom dollar I'm going to chose favorites, and rank them how I feel appropriate. I will have a favorite child, and a least favorite child. 

Also in response to a recommendation by a good friend I also purchased these. 

Remember, I'm doing this for YOU, the reader. My hopes is that this challenge will be a reference for all, in the years to come, when they stand in front of that cardboard jungle on aisle 9 and think "What should I chose? there are so many options!!" that my challenge will come to mind lead them in the right direction to sift through the "weeds".

Live It up!

Choco-loco

In continuation of the recently started "Cereal Challenge" today I conquered a bowl of these bad boys:

I served my mission in Korea and they have the best chocolate chex I have ever had in my entire life hands down... -------------->


Needless to say I was very reluctant to try these and pretty much only did because of the challenge. For the sake of the challenge I did my best not to compare the 2 but to give the scores based off of what they are and not how they measure up to their korean competitor.


-Taste: 6.5, This was another one of those cereals that wasn't uber impressive the first bite but came back with a decent fight halfway through. The chocolate was powdered on so it kinda turned all the chex into semi chocolatey chex instead of some being really chocolatey.
-Crave Factor: 5, It was good but after a few times I didn't have the crave to buy a million boxes and eat it all up. Not sure why, but there was just something about it.
-Crunch Resistance: 3, There was not much crunch left by the last bite. I could tell I was eating something square shaped, but that was about it. Except for the pieces that somehow had corners that escaped the milk. They were a little bit crunchy still.
-Overall Satisfaction: 6, I liked it but it just wasn't something to brag about. I'd probably buy 1 more box and that's it. The flavor was ok, Kinda a semi-sweet chocolate that I don't feel went well with cereal. Left a slight aftertaste and combined with the other scores I'd say they came off lucky with a 6.

It's only the 2nd box but I'll tell you I'm stoked for the rest of the cereals! I've already had numerous people tell me their favorites and which ones I should try. Keep em coming!

-With Love

The Challenge

For those of you who know me best... You know that I enjoy cereal more than I should. It's definitely a comfort food and I'll eat it 24/7. I would have died freshman year had it not been for the sweet embrace of my crunchy frosted lightly toasted chocolatey best friends.  As should everyone, I have a bucket list for this summer. I will be releasing this list later but first things first is the Cereal Challenge.  I am going to make every effort possible to try every name brand cereal in existence. (off brands just rip off the good stuff so why even waste my stomach space?) I will be rating these cereals on 4 standards.

-Taste - What song does it play for my taste buds. Are they dancing to Mo-Tab or....... Ke$ha?
-Crave Factor - Do I want another bowl? or 2? or 4? or finish the box?
-Crunch Resistance - Is the last bite still cereal or can it be fed through a straw?
-Overall Satisfaction - Was it a Grand slam or did you take one for the team? Touchdown or fumble?
       -----All judging is on a scale of 1-10 (10 being the best)-----

 This is my blog and my challenge so of course all my answers will be biased. I may offend some people. I've already come to terms with that fact. Send all hate mail to bradensthompson@gmail.com and I will promptly delete it for you. If you have a cereal you think I should try let me know I won't delete those emails.

#1 Post Alpha-Bits


        -Taste: 6.2, flavor wasn't blowing up in my mouth but after a good couple spoonfuls it was more enjoyable. Not quite the potent frosted flavor I was expecting but still pretty good
        -Crave Factor: 7, I was pretty hungry when I had my first bowl and the flavor was just starting to intrigue me so I did have a 2nd bowl and it was equally as enjoyable as the first
        -Cruch Resistance: 5, Not the best but not the worst, I didn't expect it to score very high but it wasn't a disgusting mushy mess.
        -Overall Satisfaction: 8, I know the numbers don't add up but I'm a big fan of frosted cereals like this. I would definitely buy another box in the future.
 Mostly just because I can do stuff like this:

Check back soon! Next time I will be rating General Mills Chocolate Chex.

Keep it fresh!